Who Am I As a Communicator

This week’s assignment was very informative for me.  First, I got to access my communication anxiety, listening skills and verbal aggression index. I found my assessments refreshing in the sense that my scores fell where I would expect them.  For example, my scores for listening style fell in the range that identified me as moderate. Moderate listening styles maintain a good balance between respect and consideration for the others viewpoint and the ability to argue fairly by attacking the facts of the position rather than the person holding the position (Rubin, R. B., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H. E., 2009).

Needless to say I was very happy to learn that my scores indicated that I am a thoughtful listener.   That said, I also learned this week how we perceive ourselves may not be how others perceive us.  To test my assessment of my listening style, I enlisted my sister to take the same test I took and to answer the questions from her perspective of my listening style and to my surprise her scores of me were almost identical!

As far as what supervised me, I guess that my perceptions of myself were very much in line with what my scores said about me. Also, that my sister’s perceptions were very much in line with mine.  I thought, considering, we have conflict at times, that she would see me as an ineffective listener. It’s always encouraging when someone you respect sees you the way that you see yourself.

I think the biggest take away from this week is the impact our assumptions or schemes can have on how we communicate.   I think my classmate said it best:

I believe that our value as a human is not dependent on the clothes we wear, the car we drive, the job that we do,          how much we make, the house that we live in, and so on.  These are all the extrinsic aspect – the obvious ones,             what is seen right away.  They are but fleeting, can be gone in the wink of an eye. We are all worthy of respect               regardless of our socio-economic status, educational attainment, ethnicity, etc.  We are so much more than what         the society makes us think or believe (Nacion, 2015).

 

Reference

Rubin, R. B., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H. E. (Eds.) (2009). Communication research measures: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge.

Nacion, R, 2015 Discussion Board: Examining Perception. Walden University

Communicating Cross-Culturally

In order to avoid quarrels and distress with the neighbor, a person of a different ethnic background, gender or age one must achieve competency in inter-cultural communication (Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V., 2011).

Furthermore, the more one knows about their own perceptions, identities and communication style the better inter-cultural communicator she or he should become (Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V., 2011). Each of us is a product of our cultural background, including gender, ethnicity, family, age, religion, profession and other life experiences (Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V., 2011).

Thus, it is critical that we reflect on the various aspects of our own cultural identity and examine their positive and negative impacts on our personal and professional development (Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V., 2011).

With this said, the three strategies I would implement to improve my cross-cultural communication would include the following:

• Be Supportive
• Check Meaning
• Avoid Slang

As far as being supportive, l learned that effective cross cultural communication is in essence about helping others feel comfortable. Giving encouragement to those with weak English gives them confidence, support and a trust in (Payne, 2014).  This strategy is especially important in my line of work where a least a 5% of my parents are not English speakers.

When communicating across cultures never assume the other party has understood (Payne, 2014).  Be an active listener and summarize what has been said in order to verify what was said (Payne, 2014). This is a very effective way to ensure accurate cross cultural communication as taken place (Payne, 2014).

Finally, I believe another important thing to do when communication across cultures is to avoid using slang.  Even the most well educated foreigner will not have a complete knowledge of slang, idioms and sayings. The danger is that the words will be understood but the meaning missed (Payne, 2014).

References

Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating    to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

Payne, Neil (2014, August 2014) Ten Tips for Cross Cultural Communication Retrieved fromhttp://www.kwintessential.co.uk/cutural-services/articles/ten-tips-cross-cultural-commuication.html

Nonverbal Communication

I chose to watch the Gilmore Girls.  I have heard a lot about this very popular show, but ironically enough I had never had the opportunity to watch it.  My general understanding of the show is that it chronicles the life of a single mom and her seemingly awkward but wise beyond her year’s tween daughter.

This particular episode I watched started with the mom walking leisurely down a main street, in what looks like a small down.  Her body language communicates she is carefree and excited for the day.  She steps into a café and her body language is much the same until she approaches a man at the counter and engages in a brief conversation with him. The man’s posture communicates that he is disinterested in whatever the mom is saying and can’t wait until she leave his presences.

The scene then moves to her leaving the counter with the man and sitting down at a nearby table where she begins to sip her coffee.  She is approached by a man, who from her body language, she doesn’t really know but is pleasant with. They talk for a minute, then her daughter walks through the door seemingly looking like everything’s ok. She sits down with her mother at which time the mom’s disposition changes.   By this time, the man who she was talking to has left, which from her facial expressions communicate that she is relived.

The mom seems a little upset or annoyed by something.  She then walks to the counter again and engages the man in more conversation and the man looks even more annoyed.  She returns to her table, only to find out that the man she was talking to earlier is now talking to her daughter.  Base on her body language, the mom looks like she is trying to protect her daughter from this man who may be a predator.  The man walks away after it becomes obvious that the mom is not comfortable with him talking to her.

When I observed this opening scene with the volume on I realized that many of my assumptions were incorrect.   I was reminded that what someone says even through their body) and what we hear can be amazingly different (Walters, J., & Fenson, S., 2000).First, I assumed that the man at the counter based on his facial expressions, was annoyed by mom and wanted nothing to do with the women.  But in fact, he was expressing concern, because the mom had apparently had five cups of coffee and was asking for a sixth!

However, my assumptions where correct when observing the man who approached the mom while she was sitting drinking her coffee. The mom did not know the man and did engage the man is conversation, but was noticeably annoyed by him, because he seemed to be invading her space.  When the mom’s daughter arrived, I assumed based on her body language that the mom was upset by something, but in fact she wasn’t.  The mom was frantically looking for something to help the daughter who had complained that her lips where chap and that she needed coffee.  I did however; assume correctly that when the mom observed the man with whom she had just spoke with talking to her daughter, that she felt the need to protect her daughter. The man seemly had mistaken her to be older then she was and was trying to hit on the girl.  That’s when the mom intervened and told he man that he was talking to her 16 year old daughter, at which time he promptly left the space.

References

Walters, J., & Fenson, S. (2000). A crash course in communication. Retrieved from http://www.inc.com/articles/2000/08/20000.html

My Competent Communicator

For your blog this week, think of someone (e.g., family member, celebrity, politician, friend, or professor) who demonstrates competent communication within a particular context. What behaviors does this person exhibit that make him or her effective? Would you want to model some of your own communication behaviors after this person? Why or why not?

When thinking about someone who demonstrates competent communication I have to say my professor in my junior year of college, Dr. Jerry Herbert. I had the pleasure of sitting under Dr. Herbert’s teaching for a whole semester during my time as a study aboard student in Washington DC. I remember him possessing many of the principles outlined in the national communication association credo. The most dominate principle he displayed was that of promoting a communication climate of caring and mutual understanding that respected the unique needs and each of individual communicators (O’Hair, D.,Wiemann, M., et. al., 2015).

For example, I remember my time in the American Studies Program being very difficult, even traumatic at times.  I was being bullied and ostracized due to my faith as a Christian.  Dr. Herbert went to great length to work to make the environment less threatening to me by working diligently to promote a climate of caring and mutual understanding of all the parties involved.  In doing so he also displayed the communication principle of condemn communication that degrades individuals and humanity though distortion, intimidation, coercion and violence, and though the expression of intolerance and hatred (O’Hair, D.,Wiemann, M., et. al., 2015).

It is because of Dr. Herbert effective ethical communication during what was one of the most difficult semesters of my college career that today we share a friendship that span 10 years and counting! Jerry, for modeling for me what effective ethical communication looks like! Today, because of Jerry’s example, I able to do the same for those children in my care who experience bullying and being ostracized because of their difference. I want to model my communication after Dr. Herbert’s because I remember how important it was as, well as healing, to know someone saw my pain and responded in kind.  I want to provide the same support and protection to the children and families in my care.

References

O’Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J.  (2015). Real communication (3rd. ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s

Professional Hopes and Goals

Dr. Sue commented that one of the social psychological factors associated with microagression is inherited racial biases (Laureate Education, 2011).  In other words, we have all been influenced by the institutions and racial history of our country that have formed biases within us. These biases can turn into isms when not unearth and dealt with. Therefore my hope as it relates to my work with children and families and that I will be conscious of my inherited biases, work to uproot them so that every child under my care, regardless of their backgrounds will feel valued, loved and respected for the precious souls that they are.

The goals I would like to set for the early childhood field as it relates to issues of diversity, equity and social justice; I would ascertain that they might include the following:

• Support teachers in their role as cultural competent educators by offering continuous training throughout the year that allows teachers to unearth their biases and give them the tools necessary to make their classrooms culturally inclusive.
• A better commitment to equity in resources across schools regardless of pressure from those in the dominate culture to keep resources inequitable.
• Increased understanding that teachers are in many ways activists and advocates. Their work is a form of social justice and they have a mandate through their everyday practices in their classrooms, as well as helping to shape school polities that work to level the playing field and not the other way around.

Welcoming Families from Around the World!

The name of my family’s country of origin is Ecuador. I know very little if anything about this country.  The reason I chose it has to do with a childhood friend I had that was from Equator.  Her name was Sandra and we were in the third grade together.  I remember she couldn’t play that most kids did after school because she had to rush home to prepare food for her father.

I think it would have been nice if my teacher at the time helped my friend Sandra feel welcome by creating a classroom that incorporated some expression of my friend’s culture.  That said, if I had been me I think the first thing I would do is identified her origin of country on a map and put a big star next to her country on a world map and wrote, “ We Welcome Ecuador!”

I would stock several centers with books and a maybe a few toys Ecuadorian children like to play with.  I would sit with my other students and tell them about the newest member that would be joining our community and together we would have learned a greeting in the child’s native language.

Lastly, I think it would be a good idea to invite the parents along with the child to come and tour the classroom, ask questions they may have and invite the parents to come the first day of school with a special dish from Ecuador.  I would of course invite a translator to assist with language translation as well to make the family feel that more at ease and accepted.

What parents and educators do not say or do is as powerful as what we do. We often inadvertently teach children how to behave and since they are programmed to survive in the settings and culture into which they are born, they are very proficient at studying adult’s actions and unspoken values (Boutte, 2008). In, light of this truth I would hope that through my action, what I did and said would communication to the family that I respected and value their culture and them as individuals.

References

Boutte, G. (2008). Beyond the illusion of diversity: How early childhood teachers can promote social justice. Social Studies, 99(4), 165–173.Retrieved from the Walden Library using the Academic Search Complete database.

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

What memory do you have of an incident when you experienced bias, prejudice, and/or oppression, or witnessed someone else as the target of bias, prejudice, and/or oppression? Keep in mind that one can encounter such incidents in real contexts, including online environments, as well as in fictional ones, such as movies, books, television shows, and the like.

In 2012 my husband and I were expecting our first child and went into a clinic for medical care in the state of AZ. The women at the front desk took our information and then asked us to step into a private room where she begins to ask us more detail questions. Her concluding question was, “are you an American citizen?” I was of course deeply offended by this question, as she assumed, based on my name that I wasn’t American. I told her that, “yes, I am an American citizen, born in Miami Florida to an African-American woman whose ancestors were brought to America in slaves ships”. She became flush of course and ended the conversation right then and there and I was none too happy to say the least.

In what way(s) did the specific bias, prejudice and/or oppression in that incident diminish equity?

It was apparent to me that this woman was prepared to offer a different standard of care (or none at all) if she discovered that I wasn’t an American citizen. The standard of care as a foreigner as oppose to being an American would have most likely in my opinion may have been subpar, potentially diminishing the health of my child. The quality of your medical care should not be based on your race and or ethnicity, but unfortunately we know that in some places this happens.

What feelings did this incident bring up for you?

It’s obvious from my response that I was obviously deeply offended and taken aback because in all my life I have never been asked such a question. Also, in some strange way I felt her question was disrespectful to my ancestry, which I felt most perturb about.

What and/or who would have to change in order to turn this incident into an opportunity for greater equity?

I mentioned that I don’t believe that one’s quality of care should not be based on their race and or ethnicity. I think what must change is that those that work in the health professional should not be allowed to inquire about a person’s ethic and or racial background as it should have no bearing on whether or not someone receives treatment.

 

 

 

Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions

 

“Microaggressions are brief everyday indignities that are verbal, behavioral or environmental, that they may be intentional or unintentionally communicated to women, to people of color, to gay/lesbians that have an insulting message behind them that often time causes severe psychological distress and harm”.

 

Describe at least one example of a microaggression which you detected this week or remember from another time. In what context did the microaggression happen? What did you think and feel when you observed the microaggression or when you found yourself as the target of a microaggression?

My most recent experience with microagression happened shortly after I started in my new  in position, in October, as Community & Parent Outreach Coordinator with a major school district. I was at a monthly team meeting and one of my co-workers organized, ironically what was suppose be an ice breaker meant to build relationships among co-workers. We were asked to pretend that we were going to a secluded island and could only bring three items with us. These items could be anything including a book, but not the bible. As a Christian I immediately was offended that the bible was singled out of all other religious texts. Moreover, I could not help but to question my colleague’s motives for signaling out the bible given she knew that I, along with three other co-workers identify ourselves as Christians. When I asked her way we couldn’t bring the bible she simply stated that it was the “rule of the game” and that if I chose not to abide by the rule I could not play.” Needless to say, I was flabbergasted and deeply offended! What was a microagression turned into a micoassult!

In what ways did your observation experiences this week affect your perception of the effects of discrimination, prejudice, and/or stereotypes on people.

After my experience I felt compelled to take this matter up with upper-management (mind you, my direct supervisor was sitting right next to me when this incident of micoagression happened and his slience communicated that he condone my colleagues behavior) needless to say I got no where.  What I learned is using forms of a are a cultural norm, at lest at I my place of work.  I think that because such behavior has been able to go unchecked, many people are simply numb or unaware of the impact such forms of microagression can have on a persons self-esteem.  Forunately, I am a seasoned Christian and was able to extend forgiveness for the offense to my colleague as well as the agency over all.  That said,  my concern isn’t necessary for myself but those who may encouter such aggressions and begin to internalize them.   It really is daunting to me that we still live in a day and age where people can be so culturally insensitive!

Reference

Laureate Education ( Producer).  (2011) Microagression in eveyday life [Viedo File] Retrieved from https://class.walden.edu

 

Perspectives on Diversity and Culture

Rosa Inuwa is my 65  year old mother, who issouthern born and currently lives in the northest part of the US.

When I asked her to define culture she said, “culture to me means different ethnicities that have their own way of living.”   “It consist of where people choose to live, foods they like and even the decor found in their homes.”

As it relates to diversity, she articulated that diversify simply meant “differences in background, ie. walks of life, race and class.”  She further noted that “diversity isn’t suppose to be a bad thing; it just means that people are different and thus bring something different to the table of life.”

Taiye Oladapo, is my twin sister born in the south and now resides in the northeast part of the US with our mother.

When I ask her to define culture she said,  “culture is the collection of social norms and practices along with celebrations of any given group or people .”

Diversity for her is when there is a mixture of different enthices and produces a multicultural mix. It can include a lot of different elements but primarily its a combination of cultures co-existing and mixing with one another.

Mathias Uvieghara is my beloved husband who is Nigerian and currently lives in Maryland with his lovely wife, me! lol

 When  I asked him to define culture he said, culture encompass a persons belief system, how they approach life and others.” “its something you can’t see all the time until you encounter it.”  “Diverisy is the sum total of various cultures; its a melting pot of ideas, perspectives and when harnessed correctly can be a tremendous resource.” 

Which aspects of culture and diversity that I have studied in this course are included in the answers I received—and what are some examples?

I think I see pieces of the defintion I studied this week in all of the answers given.  For example,  I learned from this week’s reading, that culture is a set of  often unconscious rules that govern everything we do.   I think my interviees articulated this understanding in more or less terms in their definitions. 

Which aspects have been omitted—and what are some examples of such omission?

 Gonzalez-Mena defines culture like that of an iceberg, only the tip is shown, but below lives the “deep” culture of an individual and or family. This “deep’ culture, according to Gonzalez-Mena, is a set of unconscious rules that governs everything we do and even spills over to what we believe children need and who they should become (Laureate Education, 2011).    I think the piece that my interviewees left out was this piece of “deep culture’;” those attributes that extend past the commonly understood notions of culture.  I am not sure if they are aware that what they described in their definitions is surface culture.

References

Gonzalez-Mena, J. (2008). Diversity in Early Care and Education (5th ed., pp. 8–13).

 Boston, MA: McGraw Hill.

 

 

My Family Culture

  

         Upon reading the scenario of an incident so profound that it changes the infrastructure of my country to the point that I am compelled to leave is chilling to say the least. I can’t help but think of the Christians in Iraq with whom I socially identify, and their current suffering for which this scenario is very real for them. As an American, which is another social identity that I embrace, it’s very difficult for me to grasp such a scenario ever happening here, given the safety from such catastrophes we have enjoyed as a nation for as long as I can remember.   Nonetheless, the events of 9/11 and the current climate of Muslim extremist plotting to convert the world or kill everyone who refuses, makes such a catastrophe no longer far-fetched!  

      When reflecting on the three items that I would bring, they would be items that are symbolic of the things I hold most dear to me. As a Christian, the first thing I would bring is my beloved Bible.   If I had to describe this item, I would say that it my compass for life. When everything around me seems to be falling apart and the world lay waist deep in wars, rumors of wars, famine and disease, the bible is the thing I look to for peace of mind and strength. It’s my dearest cultural artifact if you will. The second item would be a picture of my family. I value family above everything, but that of my Christian faith. For me, family is a tremendous source of joy and happiness for me. I am sure in this catastrophe some of my family members may have gone missing, and this picture, I believe would provide a significant source of solace and hope that I will one day be reunited with them.

    The last item I would bring may be out of the ordinary, but after some thought I decided it would be a baby picture of my twin sister and I. My twin sister is my best friend, but don’t tell my husband that! Lol I would bring this item because it literally is the only picture I have of my sister and me as children! That’s right. To my mom’s heartbreak, she lost all of her children’s photos when the women of the house she had stored them died and the daughter of this women promptly throw them out in the trash!

       If I had to give up one of these items upon arriving to my new host country I imagine that I would be beside myself with grief. I am a very sentimental person, and such artifacts hold so much meaning for me. That being said, although it would be difficult to give up two items, I know instinctively which two I would give up. The item I would keep would be the item that meant the most to me, culturally speaking, and that would be my Bible. I know that some might gawk at this choice; placing more value on the family photos. I have come to learn that this difference in preference is in large part due to culture. Culture as define by Derman-Sparks and Edwards (2010) is as follows:

 The word culture refers to how particular groups of people live. It is the way we eat, sleep, talk, play, care for the sick, relate to one another, think about work, arrange our kitchens, and remember our dead. It includes the language we speak, the religion or spirituality we practice (or do not), and the clothing, housing, food, and rituals/holidays with which we feel most comfortable.

With that said, I think that this is a the biggest lesson I am taking with me from this week’s exercise and that is that every person exist within in a context of a culture; that is is my responsibility to move passed surface culture to discover the deeper culture of families. And just like I would want others to respect my cultural norms and values, I too must respect the various cultures of that of the children in my care.

Reference

Derman-Sparks, L., & Edwards, J. O. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).